Final Thoughts
So I've been back in the US for a couple of weeks now, but for anyone that is still reading after my long absence (sorry!), I thought I'd share a few final thoughts about my year in Serbia.
My year was quite wonderful. It was the second year that Mike and I were married and we grew very close. There is really nothing that can tighten the bond of marriage faster than a shared challenge. It is always difficult to learn a new language, maneuvre in a new culture, and live in a place where the only people you really know are each other (especially at the beginning). I know that many Serbwife readers assumed that Mike was Serb and that is why we moved to Serbia. Well, I hate to break it to you, but Mike is American, just like me, and we moved to Serbia for his job, not because of any particular connection to Serbia. He is still in Serbia for now, but will be joining me in Washington in mid-Feb. He will be following me to Washington because of my job. I have come to realize that it is a strange concept in Serbia for a man to follow his wife so that she can further her career, but Mike is the most supportive and loving husband a woman can have and we are both proud to let it be known that he is as happy to sacrafice for me as I am for him. Sorry ladies, he's taken - I really did land the best husband on earth ;)
But enough about Mike, back to Serbia. My favorite thing about Serbia was the friends that I made - Alex, Sandra, Maja, Olivera, Michael, Nina, Galina and many other people who I'm forgetting to list but haven't forgotten. The memories and relationships I made are the thing that I will always take with me and I know that I will always have friends to visit in Serbia. When people ask me "how was Serbia?" it is always stories about the times with friends that I share first.
There are also a million other little things that I loved, like the food (I am so dying for some chevap!), the beautiful countryside in the south, shopping on Knez Mihailova, taking visitors to the Kalemegdan fortress for the first time, Mike's fantastic staff who were so helpful in easing our transition, and did I mention the food?
There is only one thing I won't miss. The smoking. The smoking not only drove me away from going out a lot, but it also worries me. Over 50% of the population smokes in Serbia which means at least that many are going to eventually get lung disease. This is a scary prospect when healthcare is paid for by the state. If I had one piece of advice for the people of Serbia, it would be to stop smoking - it's not only unbecoming of a blossoming European city, but it is a health risk for everyone (especially the children being pushed in strollers by chain-smoking mothers).
But I don't want to end on a down note because Serbia is really a wonderful place and I will highly recommend that everyone I know visit.
In terms of the blog, I have decided that I will also be giving Serbwife a rest for now, especially since I'm back to being Americanwife. I have enjoyed my experiment in blogging and have enjoyed the camaraderie with fellow Serb-bloggers such as Yugowife, Native Speaker, BG anon, and many, many others. I will continue to check in and see how you're doing from time to time. I also learned a lot about the blog-reading public. I appreciate almost all of the comments that I received and remain amazed and humbled by the number of people who have been interested. I truly appreciate your reading and I hope that someday I will take up blogging again....probably as a something-elsewife, or maybe even someone-elsemother :)
Cao
Brooke
Um, oh, yeah, I might have forgot
Did I forget to mention that my new job is in Washington DC and that I'm moving? Oops.
Labels: leaving Serbia
Bad Blogger
Hi, Hi, I know, I'm a bad blogger. You see, my current job ends on Thursday and so I've spent the last few weeks scrambling around in my free time trying to find a new one (because we all know how much Serbwife hates not working - almost as much as she hates cold feet). I found one, but the new boss is very anxious that I start so now I'm pretty much working two jobs. I am actually spending the rest of the day doing research and writing a memo.
I promise to blog again soon - maybe over the Christmas holiday - and give you all more details, but for now, I've got to impress the new boss, so it's time to dive into the memo! Fun Saturday, no?
Grouchy winter-time Serbwife
It's winter, it's dark and it's cold. I'm grouchy and so I think I'll tell you all the things that are making me grouchy right now:
1. cold feet
2. the fact that I just missed Meerkat Manor on Animal Planet
3. my stupid drippy toliet that never stops dripping
4. idiots that think piercing their tongue is cool
5. working until 7pm
6. people that don't plan ahead
7. flying on airplanes
8. a total lack of good cheddar cheese in Serbia
9. turning 31 a few days ago, ugh, I'm getting old
10. dry skin on my hands
11. my stupid hot water tank that takes too long to warm up
12. people that yell at me on my blog as if there is not a real person on the other end reading
13. the dollar/dinar exchange rate that is killing me
14. being a total slouch and not standing up straight
15. cold feet!!
Please don't bother telling me to lighten up, it's my blog and I'll be grouchy if I want to. :)
What's the deal? (installment 3)
More observations from a foreigner....Please help me understand...
What's the deal with fish soup? Every time I go to a resturant that is serving fish soup all the Serbs around me start acting like we have just come across $10 lying in the street. "Oh, FISH SOUP!! I love fish soup, you gotta try the fish soup, it's sooo good!!" I even had a waitress whisper to me the other night (I guess so that the other customers wouldn't hear) that she had one more serving of fish soup left (oooh, how special!). What is this facination with fish soup in this country? I mean, I've tried it, it's not bad, but it is definitely not something to be so excited about. There really are better kinds of soup (with a lot less fish bones), I would suggest minestrone soup, or maybe some tomato basil soup, and one of my favorites, french onion with a big hunk of cheese melted on top - now that is soup to get excited about!
What't the deal with the inability to set your purse on the floor? I would understand why you wouldn't want to set it on the ground if you were eating at an outdoor cafe, but I've seen more than one woman hold their giant purses (which by the way, has got to be one of the dumbest trends) on their lap during a job interview. Do you really think that it wouldn't be better to put your purse on the floor next to you while you interview rather than having this huge thing sit on your lap? I know there is some old-wives-tale in Serbia about putting your purse on the floor makes you poor or something, but if there is no risk of it getting stolen (which would, obviously, make you poor), then why the obsession?
What is the deal with the stupid metal cover over the toliet paper? Please don't tell me we're trying to be so discret and pretend that there is not toliet paper sitting there? There is a freaking toliet here, we're clearly in the bathroom, and, oh, yes, we do all need a bit of toliet paper, don't we? The cover just gets in the way and is totally annoying. I know that most of you that live here have never thought about it, but next time you are doing your thing in the bathroom, notice, and I promise you'll agree.
And while we're on the subject of pathetic attempts at discretion, what's the deal with people covering their mouth with one hand while they are using a toothpick with the other? Seriously, we know what you're doing under there, you are not fooling us by covering it up. Unless someone has a serious problem with picking and flicking, I would suggest that it's really unnecessary to cover up while you do that.
Labels: what's the deal
I have a lint problem
Alright I need your help. If anyone out there has a combination washer/dryer machine, will you please tell me how to get rid of all the lint build-up? There is no place it's collected (I've read the entire manual and even checked the same type of machine out at the store to see if I've got a part missing). I have a feeling that the makers of the machine think any lint build-up from the previous drying will just wash away in the next wash, but it doesn't!! When I put my sweaters in to wash it on the "wool cycle" they end up full of disgusting lint because it's just stuck in there and it floats out whenever I use such a gentle cycle like the wool cycle.
I have tried cleaning the bit out of the rubber door seal, but I know that there is a ton more that I can't get to. Does anyone have any suggestions?
(and for those American's reading - no, i'm not talking about a washer dryer where there are two seperate units stacked on top of each other, I'm talking about one small machine that actually does both washing and drying)
Open letter to the Belgrade City Manager
Dear City Manager:
I don't know who you have planning your street constuction in the City but I think you need to have a little talk with him or her.
I have seen countless streets and sidewalks in Vračar, Dorćol and Stari Grad that are in perfectly fine shape - without potholes, cracks, buckles, ništa - being dug up and reconstructed - and usually ending up in worse shape than they were before the reconstuction. Meanwhile, there are streets with serious problems (potholes, sections missing) that never receive any repairs - and they are usually just parallel to the street being re-done. I don't pay income tax in Serbia, but I pay VAT through my everyday purchases and I have certainly given enough in parking tickets and towing fees to have earned the right to be angry about how money is being spent on road construction in Belgrade.
I'm all for improving the roads in this town because they certainly need it. The construction at autokomanda is a welcome use of taxpayer funds and the plan for a new bridge to replace the aging Pančevo bridge is a good one. But I'm not in favor of tearing up of perfectly good side streets. It's a complete waste of everyone's time and money.
I am really starting to believe what some of my cynical friends say about how the government just does things so that citizens think they are taking action. Citizens are not stupid (even the ones who barely speak Serbian). We know a waste of resources when we see it.
If I were you, I would review your plans for re-construction of the city's sidestreets. Go visit some of the streets yourself and you'll see that they are in fine condition and whomever is in charge of roads for the city is fooling you into believing that he is really accomplishing something.
And, then, after you realize how much money is being wasted, redirect it to higher transportation priorities. I have a few ideas. Instead of spending money on digging up perfectly good sidewalks and resurfacing streets that don't need it, put the money towards more parking garages. God knows that the entire city is in desperate need of more parking. Better yet, send all the men, money and equipment being wasted on sidestreets over to autokomanda to help them finish the job faster. While you're at it, perhaps you should have a little chat with the head of the roads department about the amount of alcohol being drunk by the construction guys - I think there is a reason that the newly resurfaced roads are worse that the previous ones...
I don't fault you for trying to improve the living conditions in Belgrade, but somehow the priorities for projects has been messed up and I encourage you to step in and fix it!
Brooke - resident of Belgrade
Wooooo Hoooooo!
I feel like today is my birthday! We took back the House! Finally, we will be able to hold the President accountable for his lies. Give us two more years and we're taking back the White House.
Happy, happy Brooke!
Calling all Americans
My fellow Americans, I would like to have a little chat (the rest of you can just listen). I probably don't need to remind you that election day is three days away because I know you're being bombarded by commericals and mailers. But even if you can't take another negative ad, you can not let yourself grow apathetic - cause then the terrorists will win. ;-)
Seriously though, I know you didn't ask for my two cents but I say enough is enough! It's time to rid ourselves of this selfish Republican majority that is ruining America. We have to take back the Congress for our own sake, for our children's sake and for the sake of our demolished reputation around the world. We have to put a stop to this nonesense.
Since Bush was first elected, America's been in a downward spiral (the deficit skyrocketing while the rich get tax cuts, the poor scraping by on a measley minimum wage while millionaries don't have to pay for their capital gains, compassionate conservatism that only counts if you're white, Christian, upper-middle class, straight, married and have 2.3 children, a "culture of life" that values what's growing in a petri dish more than the thousands suffering from debilitating diseases, leadership that preaches about supporting our troops and then cuts veteran's benefits, failing pension plans, etc., etc....), but I can not even begin to describe how the rest of the world despise and derides us. Even our friends are shaking their heads in awe at what a bunch of arrogant jerks we have become when it comes to foreign policy. And it becomes extremely tiresome to have to reassure every new person I meet that I am not one of "those" Americans who voted for George Bush (I voted against him twice), and then to have to try and explain how so many of my fellow countrymen fell for his lies!
I just spent $35 to FedEx my absentee ballot back to the US to make sure that my vote counts, so you really have no excuse. I don't care if it's raining, snowing, freezing and you have the flu, you have to get your butt to the polls on Tuesday and vote. Please, for my sake, your sake and the sake of future generations, go to the polls and vote and let's restore a little accountability and transparency to our government.
Vote November 7, 2006!!!!
Daylight savings time is a crock
It's time for my annual rant about the stupidity of daylight savings time. I'm sure I did this last year, but it's too dark and cold for me to get up the energy to check, so I've decided to whine about it again this year (since daylight savings time also turns me into a big whiner).
To begin, I am NOT an early riser, nor do I think anyone else should be. It is always colder in the morning and completely backward to want to leave your bed any earlier than absolutely necessary (if you disagree, I don't care, get your own blog). So this whole thing about needing sun in the morning is just ridiculous. Perhaps we should just start work an hour later if we're so concerned about the darkness. Do we really have to force ourselves to change the clocks so that the sun starts heading down right after I've had my lunch? I rarely see the sun all winter because of this moronic clock-changing requirement (and don't tell me I can see it in the morning; I don't do mornings!!!!).
"Oh, but the children, they can't walk to school in the dark." I'm so tired of that stupid argument. What parent, anywhere, truly believes that starting school at 7:30am fits children's sleeping habits? I mean seriously, every parent in the world practically has to drag their children out of bed to get them there on time. Perhaps, we should consider starting school at the much more reasonable hour of 8:30? This would not only fit children's sleeping pattens better, but would do away with the need to change our clocks back just so that the poor children don't get hit by cars when they cross the street (and I could argue that the danger of getting hit by a car is greater because drivers and kids are half asleep so early, not because of the dark, but that might be streching it).
And finally, I'd like to point out that we actually save energy when we are on "summer time" vs. "winter time" because we use more electricity the earlier the sun goes down. So instead of going to war over oil or insisting we keep our houses at a cooler temperature to save energy, why don't the pro-conservation people push to end this silly clock-changing thing? (Note to American readers, I am aware that conservationists in the US did get Congress to modify daylight savings time by two weeks in order to save energy, but I am advocating going all the way!).
So basically, when it comes down to it, we're all still changing our clocks twice a year out of habit and "because everyone else is doing it." There is no good reason for this and all it does is make people grumpy because it's dark all the time. Harumpf.
Visitante numero 5
*Whew* I think I should rename this October as "Brooke's month-o-visitors." My last visitor for the foreseeable future just left today. And while we did do some fun stuff this weekend, I'm afraid that I wasn't the best host because work kept getting in my way (I know, I know, you only live once and your friends are more important than work, but I'm American, I have a hard time putting work aside; it's just not how I was raised). But anyway, I did still have a fabulous time with my friend Liisa from Finland (yes, there are two I's in her name).
I met Liisa when I was studying abroad in Argentina and it was a blast catching up with her. We realized how little we've actually changed in the 10 years since we studied together. Besides spending time together in the evenings, we were able to catch a quick trip to Novi Sad to see Petrovaradin fortress. The photo below shows Liisa in front of the fortress walls..
Not only did I have a great time getting reaquainted with an old friend; I also got to practice my Spanish!! You see, whereas Liisa's English is very good, her Spanish is excellent (as well as her German, Swedish and French). So I got to spend the week practicing my use of the subjunctive and past participles (which doesn't sound like fun, but it actually was - kinda like streching your legs after sitting, it's nice to strech your brain a little in ways it's not accustomed).
So now all my guests have gone, the clocks have been changed back and the air has grown cold. You know what time of year that is? It's grumpy, grumbling Serbwife time of year, so stay tuned. I have no more distractions and I have a lot of pent up ranting to do.....
Bumperstickers from America
Two weeks until election day in the US! Here are a few bumperstickers for your enjoyment (I did not write these and do not take any credit, but I do think they are quite clever).
*AT LEAST IN VIETNAM, BUSH HAD AN EXIT STRATEGY
*BLIND FAITH IN BAD LEADERSHIP IS NOT PATRIOTISM
*IF YOU'RE NOT OUTRAGED, YOU'RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION
*POVERTY, HEALTHCARE & HOMELESSNESS ARE MORAL ISSUES
*BUSH LIED, AND YOU KNOW IT
*GOD BLESS EVERYONE (No exceptions)
*BUSH SPENT YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY ON HIS WAR
*PRO AMERICA, ANTI BUSH
*WHO WOULD JESUS BOMB?
*FEEL SAFER NOW?
*I'D RATHER HAVE A PRESIDENT WHO SCREWED HIS INTERN THAN ONE WHO SCREWED HIS COUNTRY
*MY VALUES? FREE SPEECH. EQUALITY. LIBERTY. EDUCATION. TOLERANCE.
*IS IT 2008 YET?
*DISSENT IS THE HIGHEST FORM OF PATRIOTISM -- Thomas Jefferson
*DON'T BLAME ME. I VOTED AGAINST BUSH -- TWICE!
*ANNOY A CONSERVATIVE; THINK FOR YOURSELF
*GEORGE W. BUSH: MAKING TERRORISTS FASTER THAN HE CAN KILL THEM
*KEEP YOUR THEOCRACY OFF MY DEMOCRACY
*STEM CELL RESEARCH IS PRO LIFE
*HATE, GREED, IGNORANCE: WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION
*HONOR OUR TROOPS - DEMAND THE TRUTH
*FACT: BUSH OIL
1999 - $19 BARREL
2006 - $70 BARREL
*HOW ON EARTH CAN 59,411,287 PEOPLE BE SO DUMB
My Serbian anniversary
Today marks my one year anniversary since moving to Belgrade. As I walked around downtown, had drinks with a friend at a cafe, watched to make sure that the taxi driver didn't try to overcharge a foreigner (he didn't) and ate a great dinner at my favorite resturant (where the owner even knows my name), I really felt that my life has become quite comfortable and happy here.
Sure, I've had my frustrations - especially when trying to communicate. I am actually quite mad at myself not having learned more Serbian during my time here. (Despite my friend's assurances that Serbian is the trigonometry of languages -- I think Chinese must be the calculus and Spanish the basic math). And it will certainly be my resolution to try harder to understand and speak Serbian during my second year (that's a hint to all my friends and co-workers who read this blog - start speaking to me (slowly and clearly) in Serbian so that I can practice!!).
But overall, I feel like I have had many more successes than failures here. I have even had the thought that I should change the description of this blog to read:
"I'm on my first married adventure....to Serbia. At the moment I'm no longer desperate to find a job, a little frustrated by my weak Serbian language skills and so happy to have made so many friends in my current location. This blog will chronicle my adventures in a not-so-foreign-anymore land - as well as give me a place to yabber on so that Mike is not tortured with every opinion that I would like to share - although I will try not to torture my readers either! Let me know what you think!"
I had written the original description of this blog before I came here. And, I have to admit, I really didn't know what to expect. Before I arrived, all I really knew about the Balkans was that there was some war there in the 90's. (Contrary to what many commentors believe, I, nor any of my friends, really had any opinion of Serbs. Rather, most of us had never even heard of Serbia since the TV always referred to it as the "Bosnian war").
But once you live abroad, you begin to realize that people really are generally the same everywhere. There are always super-nice helpful people, there are assholes, there are brilliant leaders and there are corrupt idiots. Luckily, in Serbia, I have run into many more super-nice helpful people than I have any of the others (except when people are behind the wheel, then I have definitely run into more assholes......hey, I gotta be honest). But all in all, I have found Serbs to be a very kind, friendly, helpful, welcoming people, and I just hope that my second year here is as good as the first!
Visitor #4
More guests! Yay! My friend Matt - otherwise know to my friends and family back home as "one of my British friends from grad school" came out for a long weekend. We had a fabulous time and he gave us a great excuse to get out of our usual routine and see the sights and experience Serbian nightlife. And let me tell you, he certainly appreciated the sights along Strahinjica bana (if you know what I mean).
I was able to pull him away from the cafes long enough to see some of the sights too, including my new favorite, the airplane museum. See how cool Matt looks, pretending he's a pilot...he could really get the fit birds* that way!
I really hope that the rest of you are listening to the fabulous adventures that everyone has had when they visit us, cause you only have a few more slots left before we reach vistor #7. Remember, you really don't want to be vistor number 7...
*"fit bird" is British speak for "hot chicks"
Funny you should ask....
I received this as a comment on the last post:
"I'd like to know if you felt safe driving a car with BG licence plates.
Dubrovnik's great. As a child I used to spend my summers there. It's been
shelled in the war, so I'd also like to know if any damage is noticable now."
It's interesting that you asked about driving a car with Belgrade licence plates to Dubrovnik because this was certainly one of our major worries. For those of you who haven't heard, a few months ago, a car with Belgrade plates was torched and destroyed while parked at one of Dubrovnik's hotels. And it is common knowledge that there are many Croats in Dubrovnik who still harbor such anger towards Serbs as a result of the war that they would destroy a car just for having a BG on its license plate.
We were warned repeatedly not to drive our car there for this reason. But the whole reason that we bought this car was so that we could take it on road trips to explore the region. Plus, we really didn't want pay a fortune to rent a car.
So we drove our car and, as we arrived in Dubrovnik after dark, around 9pm, we were understandably a bit nervous and in a big hurry to find a safe parking lot in which to "hide" our car. As we drove into the city itself, we did get whistled* at a couple of times (although Mike maintains that the guys were whistling at something else). We quickly found our way to the underground parking lot at the Hilton hotel where our car was parked safe and sound for the duration of our stay (at $50 freaking dollars a day!)
So while it probably isn't the smartest thing to drive a car with BG plates into Dubrovnik, we had no trouble.
In terms of damage remaining from the war; we saw only a few minor pock-marks in some of the old churches, but those had to be pointed out by our guide. There could have been more, but we did not see them. The majority of the white sandstone walls of the old city were absolutely glistening.
*Note to American readers - in every country but the US, whistling denotes displeasure. For example, at an American sporting event, we would boo a ref for making a bad call. Fans everywhere else would whistle instead of booing.
Where the hell have you been?
Ok, well, clearly I can't be a good hostess and a good blogger at the same time. Sorry I seem to have fallen off the face of the planet, but my good friends Lizzie and David came to visit and I was too enthralled with them to do anything but hang out and show them around. Our other friends and family should really start buying their tickets to come see us. Just look what our bronze metal visitors got to do....
We started our tour of the Balkans with a place I'd never been but had heard was the star of the Balkans, Dubrovnik....
WOW!!!! People were right, Dubrovnik is stunning!! Now I know why it's the new playground for the rich and famous. And we seriously couldn't have picked a better time of year to go. It was 80 degrees and sunny all three days we were there and the tourist mobs were manageable. We even spent a day ocean kayaking to one of the islands so that we could snorkel and soak in the sun properly (and yes, my weak little arms paddled the full 5 km with minimal whining).
It was just so relaxing and I don't think we could have had a better time. Check out the sunset from our favorite little cafe on the walls of the old city....
From Dubrovnik, we drove a couple of hours south to beautiful Kotor in Montenegro where we hiked the 1500 steps to the top of the fortress overlooking the fjord of Kotor. 
See the georgous views from the top where Lizzie and David are standing next to the flag of the world's newest country.
After Kotor we drove (yes, drove, on the "highways" from Kotor to Belgrade...remind me to never do that drive again, it was NOT fun). But we finally made it to Belgrade and showed our guests the city, including the highly recommended airplane museum and a surprisingly lively Sunday night at Reka!
I am definitely sad to see my friends leave and was reminded of how much I miss visiting with them back in the US. But I hope my readers will be happy to know I'm back. At least until my next visitor arrives, which just happens to be on Thursday.....
Hooray for new sidewalks!
I just walked up Bulevar Kralja Aleksandra for the first time since they re-did the sidewalks. How fabulous! Nice and wide and pretty without any cars parked on them or people stepping all over each other trying to get by. They remind me of something....what is it? Hmmm, oh, yeah, Western Europe! Someday people are going to realize that Belgrade really does combine the best of Eastern and Western Europe...
Denver Restaurant Review: Pho-Fusion Asian
While I was home I checked out a new restaurant run by an old high school friend of mine. It's called
Pho-Fusion Asian and the it's one of the new healthy fast food restaurants gaining popularity in Denver.
I was so impressed!! The menu includes Vietnamese, Chinese and Thai dishes; the entrees are all healthy and the food wonderfully fresh - nothing like traditional greasy Chinese take-out places. My favorite was the Sesame Chicken with rice and an egg-roll. I also had some delicious shrimp spring rolls which my friend insisted that I'd like - I, of course, did.
For those of you who don't live in Denver, I don't think you'll be waiting long to try Pho-Fusion. This restaurant is destined to become a very popular chain, a la Chipotle (which also started in Denver, hmm, a trend?).
For those of you lucky enough to live close by, I definitely recommend you check it out (even the vegetarians!). While you're there, say "hi" to the owner, Tom Bird, and tell him to email me once in awhile!
Pho-Fusion Asian
8800 E Hampden Ave.
Mon-Sat 11am-9pm, Sun 11am-8pm
http://www.phofusion.com/index.htm
I-booze-a
On the way back to Belgrade from the US, Mike and I took a brief detour to the Spanish island of Ibiza for a friend's wedding.
We flew on the 1:15am EasyJet flight out of London and we quickly learned the other reason that people visit the island - to PAAAAAAARTY!! WOOOOO! As soon as we were airborne, the flight attendant announced all the types of liquor he had for sale. He then reminded passengers that the beer has been on ice for awhile and they were encouraged to buy more than one.
(Now, before you think our friends are the world's biggest partiers, I should tell you that the groom's family actually lives on Ibiza and the wedding was on their property. So this actually was a legit reason to be traveling to Ibiza.)
However, the flight didn't get really exciting until the guys next to us on the aisle started laughing like Beavis and Butthead. Apparently, the nipple of the girl sitting caddy-corner from us started to pop out of her way-too-low-cut shirt. Then, when she laid across the seats to take a quick nap and her bright red panties were hanging out for all to see, well that was about as much as the boys could handle. Oh, yeah, good times.
Our X-rated flight was only a preview to the amount of nakedness that we saw on the beaches of Ibiza. And don't get me wrong, we're not just talking about typical European toplessness, we're talking doesn't-matter-how-old-you-are, both sexes, on all the beaches, nakedness. The first day we went to a nice beach to take in a little sun and picked what seemed to be a comfy, secluded spot - that is until some 70-year-old man decided to put his towel next to ours, strip naked, swim for a few minutes, and then come lie right next to us while he "air-dried." Now I'm all for people feeling comfortable to wear as little as they want at the beach, but at a certain point I really do believe there is a line that shouldn't be crossed.
So basically, if you like to party, drink heavily or be naked at any beach, anytime -Ibiza is for you. It is also a nice place to get married as long as your parents own some property a little inland and you can escape the insanity. For us, it was nice to see our friends and enjoy their beautiful wedding but I think we'll leave "I-booze-a" to the younger generations from now on...
"So how was home?"
Home was good, as always. There is really no way to compare seeing your family and friends after missing them so much.
But I suppose what would be more interesting to Serbwife readers would be the impressions I had of America after being away for so long. So besides the obvious ability to actually communicate clearly with everyone I came across (including the Spanish speaking catering staff at my friend's wedding), there were a few things that really stood out in my mind...
1. Customer Service. You can critize the US for a lot of things, but we really do have excellent customer service. From the cheapest diner, to the nicest clothing stores, anyone working to serve customers is expected to be polite and helpful to every person who walks in. If they are not, the customer has every right, and is sometimes even encouraged, to complain to the manager. In the US, the customer is ALWAYS right and employees are held to extremely high standards. If an employee ever sighed or rolled their eyes when asked to do their job (as I've seen in some places in Serbia), the manager would not be out of line to reprimand them or even fire them on the spot. This system is especially nice in resturants where customers often ask for things after their meal has been delivered and are greeted with courteous, prompt service - unlike in many resturants in Belgrade where once the food is on the table, the wait staff disappears until they come to hover over you while you're trying to pay the bill (so annoying, and really, detrimental to their tip).
2. I also hadn't realized how much I missed a culture that values staying out of other people's way. If you are walking down a busy sidewalk in the US, the slow movers are much more likely to move to the side to let the fast walkers by. I can't tell you how happy I was when we first arrived and we were walking out of the airport and a mother disciplied her children because they were jumping around in front of the exit and the rest of us couldn't get by - because children are taught early that being in people's way is rude. In the US it is not the responsiblity of the person walking by to say "excuse me",rather it is the responsibility of the slow-poke to move out of the way. As a person who is often walking fast and held up by slow people who are taking up the entire sidewalk, it was certainly a breath of fresh air to be back in a place where I had the right of way.
3. Lastly, I forgot how much I like feeling that I actually belong somewhere. I think that many people think that life as an "ex-pat" is a charmed life. We supposedly make more money, we travel often, we usually have good jobs and there are always staff members willing to help make our life easier. I guess in many ways life is pretty charmed (why else would we do it?) However there is always a constant nagging feeling - a feeling that you're always a stranger, no matter how many friends you make. We might live in the same buildings, face the same annoyances (did I tell you my car got towed, AGAIN!) and enjoy the same food but, when it comes down to it, we don't share in the country's past or collective thinking. If the shit hit the fan, we are more vulnerable and more safe all at the same time - while we don't have a social network here to depend on for safety, nor do we understand the languge or the situations well enough to fully understand what is going on, at the same time, we have the option to leave if things get too dangerous. If you've never lived abraod, think of the last time you traveled to a city where you didn't know anyone and were on your own; there is usually no reason to feel uneasy, but yet you still did because you didn't always know what to expect and you didn't have your protective social network around you for insulation. That's what it's like to live abroad. Can you imagine how comforting it is to slip back into your comfort zone when you visit home? Like climbing back into your warm and cozy bed after a hard day's work. That's how I felt while I was home.
