Too many kisses
In most of Europe, it is traditional to greet each other (especially woman-to-woman) with kisses on the cheek. I am happy to oblige this tradition and even enjoy the friendship that a kiss on the cheek expresses, but at a certain point, one can insist on too many kisses. Take the Serbs for example, it is customary to give 3 kisses (right, left, right) to all your friends when you greet them. And this might not seem so bad when you greet just one friend, but when you meet up with a group of say 5 of your friends, and you have to go around giving kisses to everyone it begins to border on the excessive. Is one kiss on one cheek not enough to express that yes, we are friends and we are happy to see each other? I mean really, I grew up in a culture where a little hug was all it took, I don't think I can manage to adapt to a full 3 kisses, can't we compromise on just one kiss?Therefore, I am making a formal proposal to the Serbs reading - can we start a new fad? We'll call it the, "one kiss." I really think if just the people reading this blog started doing this, it would catch on (especially since my readers are trendsetters and very hip anyway).
If this doesn't work, my other idea is to start insisting that everyone give me 5.5 kisses (last kiss in the air) just so I can expose the absurdity of too many kisses.
posted by Brooke @ 10:10 AM
11 Comments:
Never happen.
The tradition is a tradition.
I understand your frustration though.
You can spend a full 10 minutes just greeting a large group of people.
Think its not such a bad tradition really.
Better still its quite a good physical barrier 'ice breaker' I think.
However, maybe a compromise could be reached. Perhaps in crowds a single kiss could suffice.
But quite how that could be achieved is another question.
You know I met a guy who said three kisses is relatively (as in within the last 15 years) new thing in Serbia, that it used to be true. Was he lying to me?
There is always the "three kisses really fast on one cheek" approach. I saw a Serbian friend do this to her grandfather and now sometimes I'll do that too, but it's probably staggeringly inappropriate the times I do it but no one has the heart to tell me.
Um, I meant used to be "two", not used to be "true."
Have you been to a Serbian wedding yet? The one I was at, everyone kissed the bride and groom 3x's after the ceremony when we were filing out of the church. Not surprisingly I developed a bad cold afterwards.
i love the 3 kisses!
There is no such a thing as "too many kisses". Think about it!!!
I grew up with the three kisses and think it's too much in some situations, like with crowds. The "warmth" goes out of it, it becomes more of an obligation, a "get it over with" thing.
If it was a formal or business occasion and I encountered a large group, I feel that it is a requirement, an obligation, to do the 3 kiss thing.
But when it's a large group of friends/acquaintances/family, I make a jokey type of announcement, and announce it's one kiss today. So I give them each one heart-felt warm kiss on the cheek along with a hug. Yes, tradition may be tradition, but it doesn't mean as much in a group of friends as a real greeting with warmth does.
Wow. Kissing has inspired quite a response (so I'll add one more). Maybe I'll start kissing people 3 times here in the U.S. and see what happens. Is this more of a woman thing, or do the men in Serbia do this too? People might see me as affectionate, but more likely they'll just think I'm nuts.
Kiss, kiss, kiss,
Craig
In general, we Albanians do two kisses, but sometimes it can get to three or even four. All of my friends look on in prudish American horror when I kiss my uncles and male cousins on the cheeks.
I like the kisses though. It's what we do.
Three kisses are not that much of an obligation. I'm from Belgrade and I can't remember when I kissed someone 3 times, except for birthday, wedding...
I hand shake with male friends and have one kiss on the cheek with female ones. "3 kisses" tradition is more with relatives that you don't see every day and friends you also haven't seen for some longer time
I've moved from Belgrade to Geneva (it is not Switzerland as you might think) some 4 years ago but the "kiss culture" is the same - 3 times: left, right, left. :)
What a nice surprise.
It helped me in the process of integrating into society.
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